The following is a list of behaviors that should raise a red flag. The danger will of course increase with the number of these traits the person exhibits.
Shows lack of respect towards his mother or women in general: When a man shows a lack of respect to his mother it is usually a sign that he has been brought up believing that women are the weaker sex and that men have certain privileges. The chances are good that his mother is herself a victim of emotional abuse or she would not allow her child to treat her in this manner. Unfortunately children who grow up in emotional abuse surroundings are at a high risk of becoming emotional abusers themselves.
He has a history of abusing in the past: One thing to remember is that circumstances don't influence well-balanced adults into becoming abusers. Abusive behavior is a personality disorder and in time these men will resort to abusive behavior if the relationship lasts long enough. If you hear that the person has resorted to battering in a previous relationship take your money and run. And don't look back.
Abusive people never take the blame for anything. They will most definitely not take the blame for previous abuse. Physical abuse rarely starts at the beginning of a relationship. It could be months or even years before a person becomes abusive. As much as 30% of physical violence starts when a women becomes pregnant. That could be quite a time after the start of the relationship.
Hits and kicks objects when he is angry: If you see him slamming doors, kicking things he can not fix or hitting objects off a table be careful. The next time he lifts his hand could be to hit you. Normal people do not go around hitting objects - only in the movies. This is a sign that he shows no respect and is a means of instilling fear. He wants you to know what he is capable of when angered so that you make sure that you keep him happy.
Leads you to believe that you are inferior: The abusive person is self-centered and in an attempt to make you idolize them leads you to believe that you are unintelligent, inferior, only good for menial tasks such as caring for them. This is all emotional abuse and manipulation to make you feel that you are dependent on them for your very being.
Emotional abuse is the precursor to physical abuse: Physical abuse does not happen without a build up of emotional abuse. Emotional abuse can on its own leave much deeper scars than physical abuse and if your partner starts abusing you emotionally the its time to get out of the relationship. Verbal abuse includes saying cruel things to you in order to degrade and belittle you. They become so obsessed with humiliating you that they often keep their partner from going to sleep or wake them up in order to abuse them verbally.
Threats of violence should never be seen to be idle threats: Normal people do not threaten to harm their partners irrespective of how angry they may be. Never see a threat to slap you, kick your teeth out or kill you or any similar threat as an idle threat. They will try to convince you it is just a manner of speech and that everybody talks like that. People don't - unless they have the potential to act out their threats.
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